I Quit My Job

And it’s been pretty great.

No, really. That’s not sarcasm. I’ve been jobless for about two weeks now and it’s been a self-reflective journey. Let me give some context.

I, like tons of other people, have been working since I was about 18. I worked while I earned my Bachelor’s degree, but was lucky enough to only have to work a part time job. The longest I’ve been out of a job has been this two week period. I’ve held around seven different types of jobs in the past five years. My first job was working retail at a pet store and my last, very brief, job was as a personal banker at a bank call center. I was also a Certified Nursing Assistant for a year. My point is, career wise, I’m very undecided.

When I first went to college, I was dead set on achieving my dream of becoming a Surgeon. I had taken all of the AP courses I could on science and the human body (not mathematics though, because I’m pretty horrible at that subject) in high school and was 100% certain that entering the medical field was something I wanted to do. Then I failed chemistry. I tried sticking it out a little while longer, until I got a D in Anatomy and Physiology II. At my college, if you got anything lower than a C in your “core” classes for your major, you had to retake the courses. I could retake Chemistry, but retaking two 3,000 dollar classes? I didn’t think so.

So, I switched it up. I looked into different majors and decided that if I couldn’t hack it as a surgeon, why not a nurse? My mother is a nurse. My grandmother was a nurse all of her life until she retired. Being a nurse would suffice. I applied to change my major to Nursing and was successful. I talked to my mother and she recommended that I get my CNA license and start working with nurses in a hospital environment. We gathered up the 600 dollars for the course and I earned my licensed. I worked about a year as a CNA in the same hospital my mother worked in (we even worked together one night!) and I discovered that the medical field wasn’t for me.

I like helping people. I like taking my time making sure that I do things right. I’m a listener by nature and genuinely want to make people feel better. I was a good aide. Not the best because I was fresh, but pretty good. I couldn’t stand the politics. Some nurses were horrible to CNAs. They felt that the ‘grunt’ work of cleaning up incontinent patients was below them. I will never forget cleaning up a patient with my fellow aide and the nurse popping her head in the room and saying, “Oh. I was wondering when you guys were going to do that.” She knew that this poor woman was sitting in her own filth and did nothing about it.

I knew that the medical field wasn’t the path for me, even though I still find it fascinating and love learning about it. I finished up my last semester in the Nursing major and had to start from square one. What else did I like? What else was I sort of talented at? What was another career I could see myself doing?

After talking again with my parents, my dad suggested being a writer. Wha? What parent in their right mind would suggest going into the English major? The notorious major where everyone assumes you’ll become a teacher. The major that’s only slightly more respected than an art major. I mulled over it and realized how much I missed being creative.

I started drawing in elementary school and only stopped my last year of high school. I had a drawing tablet and expensive markers. I still have sketchbooks and folders full of things I drew and damn it, I was pretty good. I was also a writer. In second grade I was very ambitious and wrote a seven page short story. It was at least 5 pages longer than anyone else in the class. I continued writing stories and I would draw scenes from my ideas. I got into role playing with friends and people in online communities and it was awesome.

It was that final year of high school that I had to make a choice between my two passions; being a creative and pursuing science and medicine. We know which once I chose and now we know which one I fell back into.

Switching to an English major was the best decision of my life. I was expressing myself again. The depression got better. I found a caring community that wanted to lift other writers up instead of tearing them down. I became an editor of the college’s creative writing magazine and even got two of my pieces published. The writing work I produced was good and I even got a few recommendations from my professors. I still talk to those professors today, asking them for advice.

But then I graduated. The job market where I live are warehouses and retail stores, two fields that I abhor. I worked at a different pet store retailer, but 7.50 wasn’t cutting it for my bills. The call center job was the most I’ve ever made a job, at 16 dollars per hour, but I couldn’t hack it. My anxiety was in full swing and I stopped being able to sleep because I was so nervous. No job is ever worth your mental health. I quit after about two months.

Here I am now. Still jobless, but have been applying because I need some type of income. I’ve made another big decision during my time off, though.

I’m tired of working for others. I want to work for myself. I want to be at home and write and draw and create. I want to sell my work and no job is ever going to give me that freedom. Yes, I can apply to be a content writer or copywriter. I’d love to be an editor or a publisher. There aren’t exactly many jobs in my area that would give me those skills, so I have to do it myself, yeah? I’ve started a blog that I’ve planned out content two months ahead of time. I’ll be starting a podcast soon. I’m taking this time to get back into drawing and refine my skills so that I can hopefully get commissions and even start an animation channel. I want to work on my novel idea and publish that, eventually.

I don’t like this whole notion that people should be unhappy with their career. “Well if it was fun, it wouldn’t be called work!” No. That mindset is total bullshit and I won’t stand for it. Yes, a career should challenge you so that you can grow. No, not everyday is going to be wonderful and full of rainbows. But no one should hate driving to work. No one should be upset after every shift. I think that everybody should do what they love, and what I love is being creative.


Top 5 Reasons Why Being an Introvert Sucks

Silently slithering through crowds, shuffling away from social circles, and stuttering when called on in class, introverts are all around us. Well, sort of. The estimated amount of people that are ‘introverted’ ranges from 16% to 50% of the population, which is quite a large range. Maybe it’s because introverts are too shy to speak up during surveys?

Regardless, the facts still remain; there are more extroverts in the world than introverts.

Introverts are people that prefer the quiet life. Staying home and watching a movie is much more appealing to an introvert than a night out at clubs. While introverts are social and have no problem spending time with loved ones, they often need to have some alone time after the interactions to ‘recharge’. Introverts, on a whole, prefer to be by themselves and do things on their own.
Extroverts are the opposite. They’re people that would rather throw a party than spend another boring day inside. They exude charisma and confidence and do best in groups of people. They’re the ones that have no problem standing up and talking to a room full of people. An extrovert is energized by their interactions with people and thrives on it.

So, after reading the two descriptions, it should be becoming clear as to why being an introvert in an extroverted world kind of sucks. Here are some more clear cut reasons:

1. Most Jobs Favor Extroverts – It’s no secret that the job market favors extroverts. Go to your favorite online job board (Indeed, Monster, SnagaJob, to name a few) and do a general search for jobs in your area. Count how many jobs deal with customer service. If you find more than 3 jobs that don’t require some kind of contact with customers, comment down below. I might hit some of those jobs up. Think about the popular, prestigious majors of college. Wanting to be a Doctor? You’ll be dealing with patients all day. Lawyer? You’ll be intimately interacting with potential criminals. CEO? Oohboy, there are tons of people you’ll have to manage and interact with. Of course, all of this does make sense. Most jobs are designed around helping or serving humanity. A business is a business is a business and for any business to be successful, they have to please people. Most of the time. There are definitely jobs that introverts can excel at – writing, for example. Data entry is another popular option. Artist. Researcher. There are skills that introverts possess that make them marketable, just to a much smaller market.

2. Some People Don’t Get It – It’s hard when people just don’t understand that you need alone time. Once you’ve declined that offer to hang out for the third time, people will start questioning why. Even if you’re honest and explain that you just need some time to be by yourself, sometimes that’s just not enough. You’ll start being called a recluse and hermit. Or, people will even see you as snobby and think that the reason you like to be alone is because you feel like you’re better than other people. What’s worse, being an introvert also means you’re more likely to want to avoid confrontation. It may not be worth it in your mind to correct what people think about you because really, who has the time or energy to explain things that other people really don’t want to hear? In reality, not all introverts are shy, socially awkward, and nervous. Many introverts can have fulfilling social lives, they just don’t want to hang out more than once a week.

3. There’s a Weird Correlation with Mental Illness – Now, I’m going to start this point by saying that, as of right now, there’s no solid evidence that rates of mental illness are higher in introverts than they are extroverts. But there is an odd correlation. It’s no secret that people suffering from depression prefer to be alone for multiple different reasons. It’s also no secret that, when a person is depressed, forcing themselves to be around loved ones often helps ease the depression. What happens when you’re a depressed introvert, though? It’s already established that introverts are drained from being around people, so wouldn’t being around more people only exacerbate the depression? But then there’s the fact that being alone may also exacerbate depression because you’re left alone with you’re own toxic thoughts. The same idea can be applied to anxiety, as well. Introverts are much more thinkers than doers; they prefer to mull over ideas and feelings before acting on it. Anxiety is that mulling but to an extreme. Here is a pretty good article written by a psychologist that delves deeper into these correlations.

4. Harder to Thrive in Loud Areas – Dogs barking, children laughing, cars honking their horns; all are normal day-to-day sounds. They drive me up a wall. Introvert’s brains are wired different than extroverts. Introverts are much more sensitive to stimulation. Noises, lights, too much sensation in general can really set off an introvert. My computer and phone screens are always on the dimmest setting, my volume is never turned up too loud, and I try to politely tell my family to turn the TV down so I can have a little bit of quiet. I’m working on teaching my dog the ‘quiet’ command. If the environment is too bright and loud, I get incredibly uncomfortable. I never go clubbing, for this reason. I also have decided that moving to big city areas would be a bad idea because of all of the noise and light pollution (which sucks because a lot of writing and editor jobs are in those areas. Seattle, here I come, I guess). Other introverts feel the same way. They can’t go out and enjoy a concert or move to a bustling city of opportunity because their brain literally can’t handle it.

5. It Can Have an Effect on Your Physical Health – The dream life of an introvert is a small hobbit hole, miles away from society. They’re wrapped in a cozy blanket, laying on their couch and perhaps they’re reading a book or catching up on a TV show. What the dream doesn’t include is physical fitness. I don’t think many introverts dream of being apart of a spin class or sweating in front of strangers. The one physical activity that introverts have are those sweet, crisp, quiet runs either in the morning or the night. Another hit that introverts have to their physical health is the impact of stress on their bodies. We’ve talked about how noises, large crowds, and overly stimulating situations stress out an introvert as well as how common those situations are. Cortisone is the hormone released when stress is felt and has been linked to obesity and heart disease. Here is another great article that details even more health effects that can arise when someone is an introvert.

So, there you have it. The top 5 reasons why being an introvert living in an extroverted world can suck sometimes. It’s not all bad, though. Introversion and Extroversion aren’t two sides of a coin, rather they’re two opposite sides of a spectrum. It’s possible for someone to land right in the middle of that spectrum (those special people are called ambiverts). Not all introverts are the same, nor are all extroverts. Neither is right and neither is wrong. It’s literally left up to brain chemistry and what you were born as. Do you identify as an introvert? An extrovert? Are you a super special Ambivert? Let me know in the comments and lets talk about it!

Work Sucks and then You Die (pt. 1)

Take in a big whiff, wherever you are. Do it right now.


Maybe you’re smelling the bittersweet aroma of coffee. Maybe it’s the B.O of the guy on the train who’s sitting just a little too close to you. Maybe you’re reading this blog out in a pasture, surrounded by floral scents. Maybe that smell is stale pizza and shame.

There is one thing that encompasses all of these smells and many more.

Corporate America.

Anyone who’s existing on the planet Earth right now knows that jobs and careers are a solid 60% of life.

Everyone knows the pattern. You start Kindergarten at the tender age of 5 (at least that’s how it goes in the good ole’ US) and, if you’re one of the lucky ones, you end college when you’re 24. Let’s all be honest here and admit that a Bachelor’s degree just isn’t enough in a lot of ‘successful’ fields.

Once you graduate with a Master’s, you’re expected to find a job in whatever field you chose to spend 6 years of your life, well, mastering.

You find that job, you work that job or in that field until you’re about 68, then spend the rest of your life on retirement.

That’s the formula to success. That’s the formula everyone is expected to follow in order to be happy.

One problem, though. It’s stupid bullshit.

People like to put things in boxes. It gives our brains the pleasure tingles to categorize and separate ideas, and even people, into boxes.

If you’re one of the many people who don’t find fulfillment in a 40 hour per week, 9am to 5pm job where you’re bending over backwards to make someone else even more money, then you’re a ‘loser’. You’re unsuccessful. What’s wrong with you, you ingrate? A full time job not enough to please you? Be glad you even have a job, you millenial. 

What’s that? You also don’t want to go to college? Or, you do want to go but your passions align with the liberal arts instead of STEM? Saddle up, bucko, and get ready to ride the unemployment train. Better make sure your lips are well moisturized too because you’ll be suckling on the teet of the government for years to come.

So, I’m a loser. An ingrate. I’m unsuccessful at life because I don’t want to follow that pattern. I went through college and changed my shiny Biology major into a hand-me-down English major. And I loved it. I will never regret switching majors and pursuing something I truly enjoy.

But of course, an English major is one where jobs are hard to come by. At least jobs that directly relate to what you want to do, understand that you just graduated (looking at you entry level job postings that require 5+ years of experience), and are local. Your best bet is building a base as a freelancer and hoping that those leads will either land you a more stable gig or be plentiful enough to support your wants.

And that’s the trade-off, isn’t it?

I’m currently in my first full time position and I can’t stand it. I can’t sleep well anymore because I consistently dream about it and wake up. I get sick to my stomach before going in. I dread being there and have destroyed at least 5 stress balls. I’m told that this is normal. I’m told that what I’m experiencing is something everyone goes through and I should just stick it out until it becomes bearable. It’s the highest paying position I’ve ever had and if I play my cards right, I can have my school loans paid off in two and a half years. I can move out on my own. I don’t have to have anxiety about money for some time.

But, to me, it’s not worth it. No job, no career, nothing is worth having to fight off sickness because your body is pleading you not to go in. Nothing is worth crying on the way home everyday after work. Nothing is worth your weekends being ruined because every minute that passes by is a minute closer to your next shift.

The trade off to pursuing your passion is instability. It’s risk. It’s scary. It’s ramen noodle cups and moving in with other people that might be just a little bit more stable than you are. But the reward of doing what you love and hopefully, eventually, making income off it is what the definition of fulfillment is.

At least, that’s the hope.

There’s no guarantee that any hard work is going to end up with results that put food on the table. Same as there is no guarantee that the job you have now that pays well is one that you’ll have 6 months from now.

Nothing is set in stone and sometimes people need a little bit of serendipity and faith in themselves to jerk themselves onto a better path than the one they’re currently on.

We’re all in one big, messy, shitty rat race that clumps people together and pushes them towards a beat up flag that says ‘wealth’.

But I feel like I’m ready to turn my head and gaze outside of the race lines for once. I’m ready to take those first few nervous steps across the track lines and into the unknown. And if any of the above post relates to you and has you nodding up and down, well, maybe you’re ready too.




Ah yes. The first blog post. Above is a blurred photo of a city that I’ve never been to, but hopefully can one day visit. Many of the stock photos available looked nice and fit into an ‘aesthetic’ to attract readers, from teal succulent leaves to kitschy typewriters. Most of the customization on the site is to promote a feeling of calm and accomplishment; that me, the blogger, is sitting at a mahogany desk, wrapped in a cruelty-free alpaca fur blanket, whilst sipping at a cup of coffee that was imported directly from an elderly couple in Taiwan.

Yeah, no.

I am a 22 year old woman that is still living in my parent’s basement. Not because I’m lazy and not because I want to. I have a full time job and I’ve been working since I was 18. I’ve gone to and graduated from a four year college. I have my own car, I have a dog, and I have a wonderful partner who’s in the same boat I am.

So what’s the hold up? Why am I not on my own? Why am I unable to feel a sense of accomplishment and security in my decisions?

When I share my thoughts and feelings with my parents, or really any adult that I trust, I’m greeted with the same thing.

They roll their eyes, let out a sigh, and shake their head. “You Millennials. You all act so entitled and think that things can just be handed to you.”

Wha? Did you not hear a word I just said? Because I’m dissatisfied with something automatically makes me entitled and a whiner?

You know what, fine. I am a whiner. I am a complainer. I fuss and tantrum and am wholly unhappy with how life is going. And I’m okay with it.

This blog will serve as a hub and hopefully reach people that are also whiners and complainers. Let’s whine together.

I also have a passion to prove people wrong. So I’m going to take the most common complaints and growing pains and support those feelings with cold, hard facts. Upset that you’re on your third year of renting a shitty apartment? Angry that you can’t find the love of your life because of “fucc bois”? About to rip your hair out because you’re stuck at that warehouse job you started just as a transition period seven years ago?

It is hard and there are reasons why you’re experiencing what you’re experiencing, that aren’t just because ‘You’re a Millennial’.